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Home/ Questions/Q 605
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natoshfairholm
natoshfairholm
Asked: May 22, 20222022-05-22T08:55:45+00:00 2022-05-22T08:55:45+00:00In: Child Custody

Final divorce hearing, His wife took off with their son

This coming Friday is the final divorce hearing for my son. His wife took off with their son to Pennsylvania and has blocked him and his family from all communication. There was no fight or anything. Anyway, she didn’t answer either the Petition or the Intent to file default. She didn’t do the child in the middle class or the court class that was ordered.
What can we expect at the hearing?

divorce hearingpennsylvania
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    1. bethfertich
      2022-05-22T09:54:05+00:00Added an answer on May 22, 2022 at 9:54 am

      NAL but if I’m understanding correctly the ex wife took of with their child to another state, failed to respond to the necessary court documents and she’s not following the current court orders. It sounds like the judge may order her to return the child to your son, award him custody and possibly further consequences.

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    2. natoshfairholm
      2022-05-22T10:38:32+00:00Added an answer on May 22, 2022 at 10:38 am

      You understand it correctly. I cannot imagine how Rory feels to be completely cut off from people he loves and whatever she has told him. Rory idolized his dad, did everything with him. He even built a computer with his Legos to mimic his dad. He spent lots if weeks with me whenever he had time to. He loved it here because I did so much with him too. And to have his mom do this, just ripped out my heart. My son suffered a breakdown after she did this, tore out his heart too because he lived for his son. He sought medical help and had to get medicated. She is volatile and is non medicated bipolar when she was here anyway. Just a very ugly situation.

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    3. cathicosco
      2022-05-22T11:38:10+00:00Added an answer on May 22, 2022 at 11:38 am

      My mother took off out of state when I was younger. She didn’t respond or show up to court over custody and my father was awarded full custody of me as a result. Granted he never ended up having me live with him because my mom kept skipping states and he passed away when I was 5. But he spent a lot of money on private investigators trying to find me and was close several times.

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    4. natoshfairholm
      2022-05-22T11:54:38+00:00Added an answer on May 22, 2022 at 11:54 am

      That’s sad. I’m sorry that happened to you. It had to be hard. In my sons case, I don’t think she is that smart to be honest. Her mom and grandma live close by so she won’t move away now. I truly feel Rory would be much happier here. He gets support, needed attention and is well taken care of. It may be that Rory stays with me for a time. He has his own room here and Dad needs to be situated to take full custody. He is still under doctors care for his anxiety and depression from all this.

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    5. annyezerskigilmor
      2022-05-22T12:20:45+00:00Added an answer on May 22, 2022 at 12:20 pm

      Did you file for full legal and residential custody in this?

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    6. natoshfairholm
      2022-05-22T13:16:09+00:00Added an answer on May 22, 2022 at 1:16 pm

      Kevin has asked for full custody but is teetering to ask for joint.

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    7. Best Answer
      cathicosco
      2022-05-22T13:42:39+00:00Added an answer on May 22, 2022 at 1:42 pm

      Strong chance the judge will order the child to be brought back. The issue will be is enforcing that ruling. It’s hard to do when someone leaves the state. You will have to find the child and manage to get your hands on the child. The police won’t do it for u but if u can get the child then the police will stop her from trying to take him from u. They will come and tell her no and that she has to talk to the judge about it. Judges don’t like it when a parent refuses to come to hearings involving a child or respond to anything. That’s a fast way to lose custody. It won’t mean he will have custody permanently tho. She can win custody back again

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    8. diannehillsbailey
      2022-05-22T14:22:25+00:00Added an answer on May 22, 2022 at 2:22 pm

      NAL. In most custody cases, it doesn’t look good to ask for full custody….but this is different. She booked it with the child and he was left hanging. It’s entirely reasonable to ask for full custody in this situation. On top of that, remind your son that he needs bargaining room. If he’s teetering on asking for joint, that means he’d be okay with getting joint custody. Asking for full means that even if the court decides to split the difference (if she even shows), he’ll still have a solution he can live with.
      Also, in most divorces, if she was properly served, a judge will likely give him everything he asks for if she doesn’t show up. That’s happened to several people I know. Of course, that’s not guaranteed because the judge can always choose to do something different, but it is very common.

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    9. candaceweedman
      2022-05-22T14:54:39+00:00Added an answer on May 22, 2022 at 2:54 pm

      Go for full physical custody, and accept nothing less. My experience with my stepdaughter, the mom gets away with everything. My husband hadn’t seen his daughter since she was 12. Spent thousands of dollars on motions for contempt, all for the judge to dismiss. Even though we had police reports stating mom refused to turn over the child for visitation. We didn’t see her again until she was 19 and on her own. In that time, mom ruined their relationship by telling her lies, including “he doesn’t want anything to do with you”.

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    10. natoshfairholm
      2022-05-22T15:15:59+00:00Added an answer on May 22, 2022 at 3:15 pm

      I think that is what she is doing now. Rory is very sensitive emotionally due to her neglect while he was here. Rory stayed with me through the summer last year and he didn’t even want to call her. When she told him she missed him, he got quiet and didn’t respond. Same as when she told him she loves him. He is 7. A tender age

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    11. bethfertich
      2022-05-22T15:51:21+00:00Added an answer on May 22, 2022 at 3:51 pm

      It’s a horrible situation for any child. And it’s mental and emotional abuse. The courts, at least here in Minnesota, don’t give a damn about the kids or Fathers.

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    12. annyezerskigilmor
      2022-05-22T16:08:30+00:00Added an answer on May 22, 2022 at 4:08 pm

      you have no grounds for that. Yes, the child needs her father but maybe mom took off for a good reason that his mother(OP) doesn’t even know about. This is the worst advice you could give when you know nothing at all about the case.

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    13. annyezerskigilmor
      2022-05-22T16:26:23+00:00Added an answer on May 22, 2022 at 4:26 pm

      See, this is the problem…everyone always sides with the mom. Turn it around…maybe the mom took off for nefarious reasons. You have no grounds for your assumption either, yet here you are defending her. Women use children to get back at men all the time, but you assume she’s got good reasons and he does not.

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    14. natoshfairholm
      2022-05-22T16:55:10+00:00Added an answer on May 22, 2022 at 4:55 pm

      while Rory was with me this summer, she hooked up with some guy online. She would hide away through the night on the phone with him. When she left, he moves right in with her. He could be anything, abuser, child molester, we have zero idea and can’t know with her cutting us all out of Rory’s life.

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